Showing posts with label babyspeak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babyspeak. Show all posts

Thursday, 3 November 2016

Language, language!

"Mamma, the sky is asshole!"

Admittedly, it had been raining for a few days - it still was - (we do live in the Pacific North West, which is, to put it mildly, rather wet) but this is not the language that I was expecting from my three-year-old, especially not when I am driving.

Trying to inject a commonplace, calm tone in my voice, I asked her, "Where did you hear that?"

Pat came the reply; "At school. My teacher said to me, the sky is asshole."

O-O-K.

"She said the glass is velde."

Relief dawned on me like a slow, lazy sunrise. Combine a pronounced lisp ('l' for 'r') and bi-weekly Spanish classes and presto, the sky is azul, the grass is verde and so on.

Come to think of it, I am still translating American into English after nearly a year of moving, but more of that over here.

Since K had only spoken in Hindi before we moved to the US (and we wanted to keep it that way at home) we do try and speak with her, and each other in Hindi, which she is increasingly reluctant to do. It gives birth to certain gems like this one.

"Aap ko lunch mein dosa chahiye ya paratha?" (Do you want a dosa or a paratha for lunch)

"Let me soch." (Let me think)

And the literal translation of "ganda" to "dirty" means that her favourite abuse for me, when I am not her loving 'Maaamee' is "you are a dirty mamma!" Initially, I wondered how she'd figured out that I had skipped a shower, till I eventually got there...

And so the conversation continues...

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Doing that thing you do...

I love my little one to bits - I truly do. 

However, and this is a big however, there are some things she makes me do, and does herself, which I tend to doubt in my saner moments (which are relatively few).

Singing in a voice to terrify the hordes of Hades, with faces to match.
"This is the way we brush our teeth, early in the morning" (heavy metal screech)
[repeat in pseudo Mezzo-Soprano]
Why? Only way I can get her to brush her teeth morning and night.

Playing "inga inga" (ring-a-ring-a-roses) with "Dubya" (Ghunghroo bhaiyya) being dragged around on his leash about twenty times a day. 

Explaining to her that she can't have the moon (de do), the doctor's sons' photo (bhaiyya de do PISS) the plane in the sky (de DO, Icha, de DO), the Metro (Tain DE DO)...

Showing her the potty and trying to demonstrate with an understandably snappy Dubya how she can use it.

I just pretend that I am catatonic and can't see when:

She gets friendly with someone and starts demanding "mum-mum". If they don't understand, she gropes in the vicinity of their breasts. At least she is gender-neutral about it and it has happened only with family so far.


Shouts for "pitty mamma" in the playground with a gadzillion other mums looking on, smirking. (Oh, I'll get you for this, PP - YOU taught her "pretty mamma").

Pipes up "Shupput" at PP while calmly stacking her blocks. (I know, I know - my fault entirely for asking him to shut up about something silly, in her hearing)

Hollers "Aunty nhaai-nhaai" in the cinema hall every SINGLE time Katrina Kaif takes a shower (she took several of them) in some forgettable film. No more movies for you, kid.

Yells across a market when she sees two kids walking with icecream cones "I-keem de do. DE DO PEES" and doesn't stop till they are out of sight.