Friday, 3 January 2014

to sleep, perchance to dream

It is some ungodly hour in the early a.m. K is in her current favourite nursing position: head-butting me on all fours, while wrestling with an (to her mind) inert and recalcitrant milk source. We are both half-asleep - me less so - though she has the amazing capacity to perform incredible acrobatics, all while fast asleep. Suddenly we are both jerked rudely awake.

PP (Paranoid Papa, for those of you who are new here) who normally does an excellent imitation of a goods train through the night, has suddenly woken up doubly: both to the world and to his Papa duties. He has a lightning flash insight and yanks K off me, only to face two irate women: me because K was attached to her milk source and now has two rather sharp teeth and K because she was disturbed during her head-butting nursing session.
PP weakly blubbers: I thought she was climbing over you and going to fall off the bed.
We grumble and go back to non-sleep for me and more head-butting for K.
This is pretty much a typical night for my 8-month-old.
She protests at being put to sleep loudly enough that the neighbours think I am a cruel, heartless mother, "Beta, usko doodh pilao.Bhookh lagi hogi" Oh yeah? Beta dudh pilaos the entire frickin' day. The winsome brat just does not want to close her eyes. She opens them in panic everytime they are drooping shut with an "Omigod! Two seconds of the world just went by me" panicked expression on her face.
When I do manage to get her off to La la land, she contrives to kick her way out of her zipped up sleeping bag (which I thought was so great because we wouldn't have to bother with blankets and quilts that she could kick off - HAH I say) and go exploring in her sleep, giving me panic attacks when I wake in the middle of the night and can't feel her next to me.
When I wake up bleary-eyed every morning to set her on the potty, I assure you, it's not voluntary. She has either twisted my nose or yanked my hair or lovingly tried to claw my eyes out. Ah, the joys of motherhood!
P.S. Apparently, sleep crawling runs in the family. PP, in his own infancy, managed to fly off the bed and suspend himself in the mosquito net over the side while fast asleep.

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